There is a perception in the ‘self-development’ or spiritual movement, that getting annoyed is something to be avoided, that spirituality is strongly associated with always putting positivity out in the world, some spiritual people will dogmatically preach this.
While it would be nice to go through life and never have anything bother us, this is simply an un-realistic goal. Let’s face it, there are lots of annoying people out there, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard for you to reflect on at least one person that has done or said something that’s made you mad, even in the last week!
When it comes to spirituality, as you go on your journey, it’s a bit like peeling an onion, layer by layer, as you meditate, practice mindfulness and soul search, you will begin to unravel the parts of yourself that hold you back from feeling at peace.
Now over one’s life time, we all have traumas, life experiences, personalities that shape us, they make us who we are. It’s easy to see in children or if you look at a puppy, the innocence’s, ease and playful ness they exhibit. Unfortunately, when those children or young animals, face life challenges that are not pleasant, then it changes them permanently. For example, a happy trusting puppy that is friendly, can quickly become aggressive, or timid depending on how they are received by other dogs in the park. if the little puppy is bitten a few times by big dogs, this will begin to shape its personality. Now this is important part of growing up as it keeps us safe from danger, however depending on our reaction it can also damage us, and stop us feeling as free as we once did.
On a spiritual path, through meditation and healing we can delve in to the issues we have that on some level hold us back from being truly free. Anger, jealously, sadness are just a few emotions that hold us back in life, and if prolonged are literally toxic for our bodies.
If you are on a spiritual path, and you eat well, you meditate, your living your life authentically, you will generally be happy, until something or someone triggers, a toxic emotion in you (let’s face it this can happen to anyone). While this could be perceived as a negative situation, I like to look at it as a gift. An example of this happened to me recently; My life is pretty good right now, so generally I’m happy. However last week, I bumped into an ex-boyfriend, and when I say bumped into I mean, he walked past and snubbed me completely, which to be honest was a complete shock considering there was no reason for him to have bad blood. What it did was trigger in me a lot of anger at him, subsequently I realised, how much unresolved and unexpressed anger I had at him. All my ex did was trigger what was already inside me, and because I had moved on in my life, was unresolved because I had no real reason to conceptualise it was there. This anger forced me to look at the emotions he bought up in me and deal with it in healthy way, once I realised this I felt a lot of relief. When he ignored me, he gave me a gift, he allowed me to dump my anger so it no longer affects my health unconsciously.
Whenever someone triggers an emotion in you, it’s just a trigger for what is already there inside you, this is a gift as it shows you what’s unresolved within yourself. The person who made you angry is not important, the only person that is important is you. I always look at the fact that I want to choose peace with in myself over my ego, I allow myself to feel the anger and process it (this could take minutes, days or weeks). Then I dump it out of my body forever (through meditation and visualisation). If it comes back again then I’ll just look at what is unresolved and I will repeat the exercise.
This doesn’t mean I try to be best friends with people that have hurt me, while I’m always polite, I can’t fake interest. So next time someone makes you angry, realise they have done you a favour, it’s the universe highlighting to you, the anger you have buried deep inside, and it needs to be dealt with so you can be healthy, deal with your anger (through journaling, counselling, meditation, healing and clearing- whatever technique works for you), and forget about the person that triggered it because they are just the delivery guy handing you the gift.